Man v. Microwave

I have a great idea for a new reality show…(drum roll) … “MAN VERSUS MICROWAVE.”

I have just come through a time of testing. I know you are thinking to yourself, a battle with the microwave is hardly enough to call a test. Well, I am weak and the Lord knows how much help I need, so He has chosen to use the microwave as my mentor.

So here’s what has just happened.

I have a stash of meals here at the church that I can eat when my blood sugar count gets low (no, I don’t have diabetes but it sounds better than just saying I am hungry :-) ). All the good ones (a.k.a. peal off the top and throw in the microwave) are almost gone, so I am left with the dehydrated ones that need boiling water. They come in a paper cup container and the directions say:

1). Shake container then remove cover.
2). Add boiling water.
3). Stir very well.
4). Let stand.

Not too difficult. EXCEPT, it’s not like I have boiling water in my desk drawer. So my creative instincts go to work.

I find a plastic cup and fill it ¾ full of water. I put it in the microwave for 2 minutes to boil the water and while waiting, I go to check my e-mail. After a few minutes I return to the microwave, open the door and see a shriveled plastic cup and a microwave full of water. NOT GOOD! My creative mind—now combined with a hint of revenge toward the microwave—goes back to work. I see the paper lunch cup and realize I should just add the water to the cup and put the whole thing in the microwave. Now I am disappointed with myself for making this so hard in the first place. I set the timer for two minutes and return to my office (redeeming the time).

After a few more minutes I return again to the microwave, open the door and am taken aback by the tragedy….it appears that someone has poured out the contents of their airline sick bag (if you know what I mean) into the microwave. This scene is disgusting. The entire contents of the cup apparently erupted like a food geyser into the microwave. Time seems to stand still, the questions of life come pounding into my head such as, “How can God allow such pain and suffering?” and, “Why do bad things happen to good people?” My lunch is ruined. My blood sugar is still low and now I have a mess to clean up. I did clean it up by the way. If you don’t believe me you can look in the microwave on Sunday.

And while you are here, you will want to stay for the sermon. Last week we studied the miracle that Jesus performed on the man that had been paralyzed for 38 years at the pool called Bethesda. Instead of rejoicing in the miracle the Pharisees took up their case against Jesus for healing on the Sabbath. Jesus miraculously heals a man and all the Pharisees can think about is how Jesus broke their Sabbath law. NOT GOOD! If you want to hear how Jesus responds to this nonsense you can read about it in John 5:17-47. This week we will take a close look at verses 17-29. The words that Jesus spoke were absolutely loaded with meaning that makes sense 2,000 years later. So whether you are in a fight with the microwave or your spouse or your boss, the eternal words of Jesus will give you hope to cope.

In case you are wondering, I settled for a granola bar for lunch…the worst that can happen is I could suffocate on the wrapper…stranger things have happened :-).

I hope you have a “New Life” day….the way Life is meant to be!!!
Troy